Tonight I am not doing very well. First I lose Robert in that horrible accident in June, and last night I found out my mom is dying from pancreatic cancer. Just how much freaking strength am I supposed to have when I am alone???? How can I stop myself from falling into a deep depression because that is how I feel tonight....like I am free-falling.
I feel like asking why didn't God just take me too? But I know the answer. He has something more for me to do. But what???
I don't like this pain I am feeling so constantly. I don't like this sadness that overtakes me and nearly smothers me. Just when I think it is getting better, BOOM!!!! It smacks me in the face and in the heart once again. I am trying so hard to lean on God, but some days, like today, it's not enough. I need someone to hold me and to just let me fall to pieces in their arms. But I do not have that in my life. That person is gone....ripped from my life almost two months ago.
God in heaven, help me! Be with my mom and help her in her time of need. Give her strength to deal with what she is going to be going through in the weeks/months ahead. Be with my family and give them the strength and comfort that You have given to me so freely. May they each feel your loving arms enfolding them and may the strength and comfort they receive from You be given to my mom tenfold. Mother Mary, hear my prayer and intercede on our behalf. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen
I feel like asking why didn't God just take me too? But I know the answer. He has something more for me to do. But what???
I don't like this pain I am feeling so constantly. I don't like this sadness that overtakes me and nearly smothers me. Just when I think it is getting better, BOOM!!!! It smacks me in the face and in the heart once again. I am trying so hard to lean on God, but some days, like today, it's not enough. I need someone to hold me and to just let me fall to pieces in their arms. But I do not have that in my life. That person is gone....ripped from my life almost two months ago.
God in heaven, help me! Be with my mom and help her in her time of need. Give her strength to deal with what she is going to be going through in the weeks/months ahead. Be with my family and give them the strength and comfort that You have given to me so freely. May they each feel your loving arms enfolding them and may the strength and comfort they receive from You be given to my mom tenfold. Mother Mary, hear my prayer and intercede on our behalf. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen