Saturday, 6/7/14 started as an exciting day. We got up and got ready to go to the Spring Rally up in Virginia City, then met Jimmy and Linda at the donut shop. For the life of me, I do not recall the name of the place, but know exactly where it is. I can't even remember what we talked about now...bikes, I know, but there was more.
We left there, went and got gas, then started on our way. We didn't discuss which way we were going. Robert and I assumed we'd be going the way we always go...through Carson City. Longer route, yes, but safer. Jimmy was quite a ways ahead of us when we turned so we were unable to alert him that we didn't want to go on the Comstock Highway. I hate that road in a car, and terrified of it on the bike. But since we were going that way, I had to deal with it.
I said a quick prayer asking for a safe journey up the road to Virginia City. I looked out upon the scenery and then faced forward to watch the road. Next thing I know, a bike is coming towards us in his own lane. When he started around his corner, I think he lost control of his bike because he suddenly crossed into our lane and hit Jimmy head on. Sparks flew as the bikes went down. I yelled at Robert that we needed to try to avoid them. He tried, but suddenly the back tire of the other bike was before us and I knew we were not going to able to avoid it. Next thing I knew I was standing, looking down upon the wreckage, nobody moving or making a sound. I went to Robert wondering what I was going to do and remembered to dial 911. I went to check on Jimmy and Linda too. I didn't touch anybody ... I was afraid to. But I looked in Jimmy's eyes. I think he was already gone.
I went back to Robert and ran my fingers across his forehead, telling him to stay with me, that help was on the way. I heard him snoring and thought he was only knocked out and sleeping. I later found out that was his body shutting down at that point and that he was probably already gone. He had internal injuries, broken ribs, but mostly his death came from a basal fracture to the skull. I found out later that a basal fracture is a fatal injury that causes quick death. The coroner's office stated that even if the Trauma team had been onsite when the accident occurred, they would not have been able to save him.
It is a blessing that he went quickly and did not suffer. I keep reminding myself that it is best that he went this way .... doing what he loved .... and that he wouldn't have wanted to be on any kind of life support to keep him alive.
Jimmy went quickly too. He was gone before Robert. It severed his leg at the knee (I thought, at first, that it was a prosthetic, though I wasn't aware he wore one). I found out a few minutes later that it wasn't a prosthetic. I can't be certain, but I think his neck may have been broken ... or maybe his spine. I don't know what makes me think that, as only his leg was at an odd angle.
Linda is in bad shape. Broken ribs on both sides, broken fingers on both sides, a broken femur that they had to operate on twice. They thought at first that she might lose the leg, but now they think they might be able to save it. She was on a ventilator that was later removed. She still had a trach in, so could still not speak, but she was awake and aware that she had been injured. She did not know about Robert and Jimmy. They may have taken the trach out by now. I'm not sure. I really need to go see her or, at least, check on her again. I don't want to see her if she doesn't know yet ... I know she would ask me and I don't know how to respond. I want her to know I am here for her, though, and that I understand the pain of her loss.
The other guy, Mr. Jensen, I heard is in critical condition too. Not sure of his injuries, though I recall one of them being muscles in the arm all torn up. Somebody thought they heard he had died too, but I have not heard that and the investigating officer said that he still had to interview Linda and Mr. Jensen before they could complete their report. It could be up to 90 days for the toxicology part of the report to come back, so it could be awhile.
In the meantime, I am a walking, talking miracle. God saw fit to save me and I walked away with minor injuries. I do not know how or why I walked away so unscathed by this horrific accident, but the CT scans and dye test that they ran showed no broken bones or internal injuries. My pain has been getting worse over the past few days. I followed up with my doctor yesterday, and I may have a couple of fractured ribs. I am waiting for results of the new xrays that were taken yesterday.
Robert's son and mom came over and we did what needed to be done as far as coroner, insurance, investigating officers and making arrangements for Robert's cremation. I went and saw Robert. He was a little banged up, but not any worse than I expected to see. I held him, touched him, kissed him and said good-bye. The worst part for me was to leave him and his vest behind. I hated to do that, but now his death seems more real. I made myself leave, though, knowing that his ashes will come home to me soon.
I have been walking Hunter every day....giving him as much love as he'll accept. Like me, he has good moments and bad. His eyes are so sad after he looks for his papa and doesn't find him. I wish I could heal his broken heart as much as I can mine. But only God can do that for both of us.
People keep saying that I am strong. I am when I am with others. But when I am home alone with the kitties, I do not feel so strong. In fact, I feel very weak and, at times, very maudlin. I know God is with me, though. He will watch over us because he still has a purpose for me, though I do not know what. He gives me the strength and the courage to get up each day and to make it through each day. He reminds me everyday that my life is a miracle .... because that is what He wanted.
And so, now, it is time to move on. To get on with life without my Robert. I do not know what is going to happen or how I am going to get through this, but I will lean on God because "with God, nothing is impossible!"
We left there, went and got gas, then started on our way. We didn't discuss which way we were going. Robert and I assumed we'd be going the way we always go...through Carson City. Longer route, yes, but safer. Jimmy was quite a ways ahead of us when we turned so we were unable to alert him that we didn't want to go on the Comstock Highway. I hate that road in a car, and terrified of it on the bike. But since we were going that way, I had to deal with it.
I said a quick prayer asking for a safe journey up the road to Virginia City. I looked out upon the scenery and then faced forward to watch the road. Next thing I know, a bike is coming towards us in his own lane. When he started around his corner, I think he lost control of his bike because he suddenly crossed into our lane and hit Jimmy head on. Sparks flew as the bikes went down. I yelled at Robert that we needed to try to avoid them. He tried, but suddenly the back tire of the other bike was before us and I knew we were not going to able to avoid it. Next thing I knew I was standing, looking down upon the wreckage, nobody moving or making a sound. I went to Robert wondering what I was going to do and remembered to dial 911. I went to check on Jimmy and Linda too. I didn't touch anybody ... I was afraid to. But I looked in Jimmy's eyes. I think he was already gone.
I went back to Robert and ran my fingers across his forehead, telling him to stay with me, that help was on the way. I heard him snoring and thought he was only knocked out and sleeping. I later found out that was his body shutting down at that point and that he was probably already gone. He had internal injuries, broken ribs, but mostly his death came from a basal fracture to the skull. I found out later that a basal fracture is a fatal injury that causes quick death. The coroner's office stated that even if the Trauma team had been onsite when the accident occurred, they would not have been able to save him.
It is a blessing that he went quickly and did not suffer. I keep reminding myself that it is best that he went this way .... doing what he loved .... and that he wouldn't have wanted to be on any kind of life support to keep him alive.
Jimmy went quickly too. He was gone before Robert. It severed his leg at the knee (I thought, at first, that it was a prosthetic, though I wasn't aware he wore one). I found out a few minutes later that it wasn't a prosthetic. I can't be certain, but I think his neck may have been broken ... or maybe his spine. I don't know what makes me think that, as only his leg was at an odd angle.
Linda is in bad shape. Broken ribs on both sides, broken fingers on both sides, a broken femur that they had to operate on twice. They thought at first that she might lose the leg, but now they think they might be able to save it. She was on a ventilator that was later removed. She still had a trach in, so could still not speak, but she was awake and aware that she had been injured. She did not know about Robert and Jimmy. They may have taken the trach out by now. I'm not sure. I really need to go see her or, at least, check on her again. I don't want to see her if she doesn't know yet ... I know she would ask me and I don't know how to respond. I want her to know I am here for her, though, and that I understand the pain of her loss.
The other guy, Mr. Jensen, I heard is in critical condition too. Not sure of his injuries, though I recall one of them being muscles in the arm all torn up. Somebody thought they heard he had died too, but I have not heard that and the investigating officer said that he still had to interview Linda and Mr. Jensen before they could complete their report. It could be up to 90 days for the toxicology part of the report to come back, so it could be awhile.
In the meantime, I am a walking, talking miracle. God saw fit to save me and I walked away with minor injuries. I do not know how or why I walked away so unscathed by this horrific accident, but the CT scans and dye test that they ran showed no broken bones or internal injuries. My pain has been getting worse over the past few days. I followed up with my doctor yesterday, and I may have a couple of fractured ribs. I am waiting for results of the new xrays that were taken yesterday.
Robert's son and mom came over and we did what needed to be done as far as coroner, insurance, investigating officers and making arrangements for Robert's cremation. I went and saw Robert. He was a little banged up, but not any worse than I expected to see. I held him, touched him, kissed him and said good-bye. The worst part for me was to leave him and his vest behind. I hated to do that, but now his death seems more real. I made myself leave, though, knowing that his ashes will come home to me soon.
I have been walking Hunter every day....giving him as much love as he'll accept. Like me, he has good moments and bad. His eyes are so sad after he looks for his papa and doesn't find him. I wish I could heal his broken heart as much as I can mine. But only God can do that for both of us.
People keep saying that I am strong. I am when I am with others. But when I am home alone with the kitties, I do not feel so strong. In fact, I feel very weak and, at times, very maudlin. I know God is with me, though. He will watch over us because he still has a purpose for me, though I do not know what. He gives me the strength and the courage to get up each day and to make it through each day. He reminds me everyday that my life is a miracle .... because that is what He wanted.
And so, now, it is time to move on. To get on with life without my Robert. I do not know what is going to happen or how I am going to get through this, but I will lean on God because "with God, nothing is impossible!"