Sometimes life reminds me of baseball because it throws us curve balls. The question is: how is our swing? Are we strong enough to hit the ball out of the park? Or do we get hit by the ball and fall? Is our fighting swing somewhere in-between or do we ground out?
Last year, life hit me with many curve balls and I had to figure how to hit the ball and stay alive so-to-speak.
It started with the decision to go to church again. After a few weeks of attending mass, I began to wonder what I should do about my relationship with Robert. Should I stay in this open relationship that I had been in for a long time? Or should I walk away and attempt to make it on my own? Should I see if he'd want to marry me? We had talked about it a few times in the last couple of years but had done nothing about it and had never really come to a decision. Before I could decide what I wanted to do, life threw the first curve ball when we were in a motorcycle accident and he was killed, taking it out of my hands.
In the weeks to follow, I kept swinging. I didn't hit it out of the ball park, but I didn't ground out either. Instead, there were times I felt guilty for being alive, I wondered why I hadn't died too, and I missed him more than I thought I ever would or could. At the same time, I knew I was lucky and that God had chosen to let me live. Why, I don't know, but I do know that it showed me how much He loves and cares for me! While trying to figure out the answers to all of the above, I began to learn I had some pretty good co-workers/friends here. I also grew closer to my mom since she had lost my step-dad a little over a year before and knew how I was feeling.
We talked a lot over the next few weeks and then the next curve ball was thrown at me. Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 weeks later. How could I go on when this curve ball had just hit me and knocked me to the ground? I knew I had to and a couple of thoughts continued to run through my mind:
So, with God's help, I got up each day, putting one foot in front of the other keeping my goal in sight ... to make it to first base by getting past the initial grief and pain of such tragic circumstances.
Life, however, was not done with me. Another curve ball came a couple of months later when a good friend from school days died suddenly of a massive heart attack. It was a shock, but I kept swinging. Yeah, they weren't great swings. I kept grounding out, but, at some point during the winter, I finally hit it hard enough to get to first base .... to get over the hump of the grief and pain of such loss.
Now it was time to focus on God and making it to 2nd base...the goal to feel as though life could and would go on and that happiness could come again. By keeping busy, attending mass, and spending time with friends, I began to feel life could be good again, that maybe I could not only make it to 2nd base, but steal my way to 3rd base too!
I made a couple of bad personal decisions, and I almost got tagged out trying to steal 3rd, but I felt alive for the first time in months. With the near out, I realized I had taken my eyes partially off of God and focused it more on my earthly desires. But God, being who He is, helped me get my head on straight and to refocus on my goal...to get to 3rd base by growing closer to Him and without having to steal the base.
Baseball, as you can guess, has been an important part of my life since I was a little girl. Today, it remains just as important. Thankfully, God knows that and helps me to apply it to all areas of my life. Curve balls will always come in our lives, but it is how we get through those that counts.
Coming Soon:
Baseball: Getting to 3rd Base & Home Plate
Scriptures, songs and other thoughts that help when the curve balls come.
Last year, life hit me with many curve balls and I had to figure how to hit the ball and stay alive so-to-speak.
It started with the decision to go to church again. After a few weeks of attending mass, I began to wonder what I should do about my relationship with Robert. Should I stay in this open relationship that I had been in for a long time? Or should I walk away and attempt to make it on my own? Should I see if he'd want to marry me? We had talked about it a few times in the last couple of years but had done nothing about it and had never really come to a decision. Before I could decide what I wanted to do, life threw the first curve ball when we were in a motorcycle accident and he was killed, taking it out of my hands.
In the weeks to follow, I kept swinging. I didn't hit it out of the ball park, but I didn't ground out either. Instead, there were times I felt guilty for being alive, I wondered why I hadn't died too, and I missed him more than I thought I ever would or could. At the same time, I knew I was lucky and that God had chosen to let me live. Why, I don't know, but I do know that it showed me how much He loves and cares for me! While trying to figure out the answers to all of the above, I began to learn I had some pretty good co-workers/friends here. I also grew closer to my mom since she had lost my step-dad a little over a year before and knew how I was feeling.
We talked a lot over the next few weeks and then the next curve ball was thrown at me. Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 weeks later. How could I go on when this curve ball had just hit me and knocked me to the ground? I knew I had to and a couple of thoughts continued to run through my mind:
- God was there, holding me close, letting me know I would be okay if I would just trust in Him and cling to Him.
- I am made of strong Crabtree and Cissna blood...no matter how hard things get, we get up, dust ourselves off and continue on.
So, with God's help, I got up each day, putting one foot in front of the other keeping my goal in sight ... to make it to first base by getting past the initial grief and pain of such tragic circumstances.
Life, however, was not done with me. Another curve ball came a couple of months later when a good friend from school days died suddenly of a massive heart attack. It was a shock, but I kept swinging. Yeah, they weren't great swings. I kept grounding out, but, at some point during the winter, I finally hit it hard enough to get to first base .... to get over the hump of the grief and pain of such loss.
Now it was time to focus on God and making it to 2nd base...the goal to feel as though life could and would go on and that happiness could come again. By keeping busy, attending mass, and spending time with friends, I began to feel life could be good again, that maybe I could not only make it to 2nd base, but steal my way to 3rd base too!
I made a couple of bad personal decisions, and I almost got tagged out trying to steal 3rd, but I felt alive for the first time in months. With the near out, I realized I had taken my eyes partially off of God and focused it more on my earthly desires. But God, being who He is, helped me get my head on straight and to refocus on my goal...to get to 3rd base by growing closer to Him and without having to steal the base.
Baseball, as you can guess, has been an important part of my life since I was a little girl. Today, it remains just as important. Thankfully, God knows that and helps me to apply it to all areas of my life. Curve balls will always come in our lives, but it is how we get through those that counts.
Coming Soon:
Baseball: Getting to 3rd Base & Home Plate
Scriptures, songs and other thoughts that help when the curve balls come.